I dont think it always works out, for lots of reasons, but I was with my first boyfriend for eight years and we still try to catch up every couple of months. He still gets an invite to big family stuff and I'm pen pals with his niece who was born when we were together. Sometimes a shared history is too big a part of how you've grown into the person you are to just abandon because one form of love changes to another.
Yes!! This is such a great example of why it CAN (not always, as you say) be a good thing to remain in each other’s lives. Love that you’re pen pals with his niece 🥹
Yeah, there are definitely ex's I'd happily never hear from again but I'm glad it worked with this one. You have to be so respectful of eachothers boundaries, which change all the time depending on what life looks like, but I'm grateful he has a lovely, understanding girlfriend!
This is such a great piece Alanna! I actually dated one of my boyfriend's very good friends for a few months, about a year before Aid and I got together. We ended on good terms anyway, saying we'd still be friendly, and the fact we did has meant there's no bad blood between any of us. I wouldn't say he's a "friend" to me anymore, but more like a friend-in-law - it's not awkward if we see each other or if he comes round for drinks, and that makes us all so much more comfortable in what could be an absolutely horrendous situation 🤣
I feel it totally depends on what you feel about that ex and how you parted with them. I parted with my ex-husband and it was healthy for me to exclude him out of my life. I think most people remain friendly due to children involved, but some people actually have the maturity and haven't destroyed each other in the relationship but just have grown apart or were too different to be together. Now when someone says I don't my partner to be friends with ex as red flag I understand it as psychological pattern, it comes from people who have been cheated upon, or seen it too closely and there is healing to be done there. As you said, its layered and nothing ever comes under on blanket statement.
I dont think it always works out, for lots of reasons, but I was with my first boyfriend for eight years and we still try to catch up every couple of months. He still gets an invite to big family stuff and I'm pen pals with his niece who was born when we were together. Sometimes a shared history is too big a part of how you've grown into the person you are to just abandon because one form of love changes to another.
Yes!! This is such a great example of why it CAN (not always, as you say) be a good thing to remain in each other’s lives. Love that you’re pen pals with his niece 🥹
Yeah, there are definitely ex's I'd happily never hear from again but I'm glad it worked with this one. You have to be so respectful of eachothers boundaries, which change all the time depending on what life looks like, but I'm grateful he has a lovely, understanding girlfriend!
This is such a great piece Alanna! I actually dated one of my boyfriend's very good friends for a few months, about a year before Aid and I got together. We ended on good terms anyway, saying we'd still be friendly, and the fact we did has meant there's no bad blood between any of us. I wouldn't say he's a "friend" to me anymore, but more like a friend-in-law - it's not awkward if we see each other or if he comes round for drinks, and that makes us all so much more comfortable in what could be an absolutely horrendous situation 🤣
I feel it totally depends on what you feel about that ex and how you parted with them. I parted with my ex-husband and it was healthy for me to exclude him out of my life. I think most people remain friendly due to children involved, but some people actually have the maturity and haven't destroyed each other in the relationship but just have grown apart or were too different to be together. Now when someone says I don't my partner to be friends with ex as red flag I understand it as psychological pattern, it comes from people who have been cheated upon, or seen it too closely and there is healing to be done there. As you said, its layered and nothing ever comes under on blanket statement.