45 Comments

This is such a beautiful list and I truly needed to read your words 🤍

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Thank you 💓 🌷

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Advice I wish I could give my past self, but which I can instead give to others who may learn from my mistakes (from when I went to see Muse live in London back in 2019):

If you go to a concert that requires hours of public transport travelling to get there, and doesn’t finish in time for you to return the same day, you NEED to over-prepare. Get there as many hours early as possible; book a place ahead of time to stay/sleep overnight once the concert is finished, so you’re not left wandering the streets aimlessly between midnight and dawn; wear comfortable shoes, because you’re likely going to do a hell of a lot of walking; and if you have the social skills, maybe strike up conversations with other people and bond over your shared affinity for whatever band you just saw as you’re leaving the venue.

(It also helps if you have disposable income to spare, without you needing to sell a bunch of your stuff at CeX to get some quick cash to afford train tickets, concert tickets, and just enough left over to buy food from whatever nearest fast food places are still open late at night…)

😁

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Oh man, nightmare!!! London shutting basically all transport by 1am is one of its most irritating traits, in my opinion…

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The one piece of advice I have acquired over the years is to find a hairdresser in your teens who isn't OBSESSED with trying to get your mother's approval to relax your hair because it will make it more 'manageable' (aka straighter). Turns out my curly hair is perfectly manageable with the right products and actually fine the way it grows out of my scalp

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I love this!!

Ugh, “manageable” is such a loaded term when it comes to hair, isn’t it? Kind of reminds me of the way little white girls seem to get away with wearing all sorts of clips/scrunchies/plaits in school, but little Black girls get in trouble for braids/laid edges etc…

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Oh I literally did not wear my hair down once for the 14 years that I was in school because I (and my parents) knew it would be pulled up as ‘unruly’

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Oct 21Liked by Alanna Duffield

Happy belated birthday Alanna! Hope you had a lovely day <3

This list is wonderful. I think one I'd add is say no when you mean it - I've done far too many things for the sake of other people when I should have just declined in the first place.

Alsoooo, that pink dress on you?!?! EXQUISITE!

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Yes!! I’m such a people pleaser and could DEFINITELY do with saying no more.

Thank you, Soph!! Xxx

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Oct 21Liked by Alanna Duffield

Always have something to look forward to no

matter how big or small.

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Like this a lot!

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Oct 22Liked by Alanna Duffield

thanks Alanna 👋🏼

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What was #32?!

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Omg I scrolled all the way to the end like, "Well, it's the last one, isn't it??" only to find I'd stopped at 31 hahah. I'm going to need to think of another!

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Haha, I thought maybe I was obtuse and had missed it, or that the best lessons are the ones we teach ourselves or something. I may still be obtuse, but it's nice to know it wasn't on show right now. Looking forward to #32!

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Hahah the 32nd point is the friends we made along the way

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Oct 21Liked by Alanna Duffield

Wonderful list!

"Time flies — whether you're having fun or not."

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Thank you—I love your addition!

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loved this! Some really great bits of advice here that I needed to read today and will be taking on board. 😊

I recently did a similar piece for my 35th birthday and the main point I’d drop here to add to your list is; to learn to ‘enjoy the process’ as well as the output; it certainly reframes things!

Oh and happy birthday! 🎉

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Thank you so much, Nicola! Love your one 😊

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Oct 20Liked by Alanna Duffield

Happy birthday angel 💗 it is a joy to call someone so wise and introspective a friend. Hope you have celebrated accordingly 💕

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Thank you gorgeous girl!!! Same to youuu xxxx

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I just turned 38 and wrote a few of my own. This so far is the most crucial

the thing you don’t say will eat you up inside. so do shame and guilt. find a way to say the things out loud.

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I love this 😊 💓

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Oct 20Liked by Alanna Duffield

I loved this list, thank you. My addition from 38 years of life would be: let yourself do things with abandon. People are never judging you as much as you think they are. They’re too busy worrying about themselves. So do things as fully and freely as you can. It feels fantastic when you do.

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Beautifully said!! 💓💓🌷

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What a gorgeous list. HB honey <3

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Thanks angel!!!

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Love this. Happy birthday 🎂 💕

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Thank you 💓🌷🫶🏼

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Number 20 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

And also number 25. Social media is such fake news - like 5% of the world actually look like that - so I couldn’t agree more with getting yourself out there around *actual* people who are not literally paid to look that good and realising that, actually, you’re pretty fucking hot.

Also love your notion of sadness breeding growth.

Just generally love this entire post, tbh. ♥️♥️♥️

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Aw thank you so much Katie!! Xxx

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I love all of these.

Do you have any recommendations of good retinoids products? I've been trying to get back into a good skincare.

When it comes to a piece of wisdom from this year for me: Never take a job for granted, the only thing that makes work life stable are the skills you develop and the network you build.

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Love this! A good job really can change everything.

And I do indeed! Tretinoin is probably the best of the best but (in the UK at least) it can be hard to get hold of without a prescription. So I use Medik8 Crystal Retinal 💓💓

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Thank you for the recommendations! I'll see if I can get one of them in the Netherlands. Hopefully at least the Medik8 Crystal Retinal.

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Oct 20Liked by Alanna Duffield

I love all these. 🤩🫶🏻 Beautiful list. 🥰

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Thank you!! Xx

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