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Kathleen's avatar

God I love this and I'm personally looking forward to taking solo trips in the near future. I've often thought about taking the bus or train to Montreal so I can get a tattoo, but then I always think I should make a trip of it with my husband or the kids...and so it just hasn't happened but it's in the plans this year!

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

I think this could be a great solo trip!! You could always make the trip and get the tattoo by yourself, then have your family come meet you after—the best of both worlds 🤗

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Kathleen's avatar

Nahh, once I leave them at home, I’m free. See ya when I get back 😂

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

Hahahaha love it

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Shivani Gulati's avatar

I could read endless stories about doing things alone, it's truly life changing (and life-enhancing). I'm taking myself on a solo trip to Paris next month and I'm so excited ❤️

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

Isn't it?? The world opens up so much when you realise you can do things as and when you want to. Hope you have an AMAZING time in Paris. One of my favourite cities!! (I lived there for a few months - you guessed it - alone 🤭)

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Riza's avatar

Ah I love this essay so much, I instantly became a subscriber. Going solo is something I am trying to embrace and this is such a perfect ode to it. ☺️

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

This is so kind, thank you! 🥹🥰 Hope your solo excursions are wonderful

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Haley Strohschein's avatar

i really appreciate this! i have always loved my own company and the uninterrupted time it lends me to process my thoughts and cultivate areas of my life without the noise of other people vying for pieces of me. even being partnered for 4+ years now i semi-regularly go out on my own: reading at wine bars, exploring the city with my camera, hikes, etc. i am lucky to have a partner who understands my need for alone time is not an offense to them.

back when i was single and living with a friend (no longer a friend) they would constantly be upset, to the point of actual anger, if i decided to do anything alone, even so much as going to a movie when they were at work. i guess some people don’t get it.

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

Omg yes I’ve experienced this too, when someone close to you can’t understand why you’d ever choose to do something without them. True love is understanding that EVERYONE needs time alone!

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Carly Beddoe's avatar

I’m so happy this appeared on my substack today. I always want to leave nyc for a night to explore new inns/restaurants opening upstate but am hesitant to do it alone. you inspired me to just book a room and go exploring!! 🤍

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

Absolutely do it!! And write about it 💓🫶🏼

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aya's avatar

what a beautiful read. i smiled all the way through reading this and felt how much this meant to you <3

signed, a frequent fellow solo traveler/solo doer of things

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

Thank you so much! So glad you liked xx

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Cha's avatar

Absolutely love this! I've been travelling solo overseas and domestically in Australia for over 10 years now and it's essential for my soul. I have an amazing husband and wonderful friends and family but I also just really enjoy my own company. Your time in Rye sounds magical. I hope there are more solo trips for you in the near future!

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

I loooove this for you! That sounds like such a gorgeous and liberating set up. I hope it continues! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

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Becci Phasey's avatar

I’ve attempted quite a few mini holidays (with dog) in recent years, and for some reason I just haven’t felt completely at ease. (The mice in the walls of the shepherd’s hut probably didn’t help). Now I think I’ve been planning the wrong kind of holiday. My life is already quiet and solitary as it is, I don’t need to run away to an idyllic retreat. Maybe I need a solo city break or adventure…!? That feels more exciting than being told upon arrival at one glamping spot: “don’t open the dog kennel, we’ve uh, had a bit of a problem recently so it’s full of mouse traps” … 🫠

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

Hahahaha not the mice!! Yeah, I’m with you: I looove the idea of going out into the middle of nowhere, but it can just ignite your fight or flight a bit too much. Somewhere with a nice locked door and some neighbours within walking distance is a nice comfort 🥰

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RP's avatar

Craving this! I booked a week off in December whilst my husband was still working and I loved it. Solo spa day, solo cinema day, solo day to just stare into space - it felt wonderfully indulgent but healing too, to be able to just wake up and ask myself what I wanted to do without having to consider anyone else!

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

Ugh that sounds SO DREAMY!! I love a solo day that’s also quite packed??

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Shreya's avatar

I'm going on a solo trip to The Netherlands and its neighbouring countries next week!!! This couldn't have come at a better time ✨♥️

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

Amazing!!! Hope you have a wonderful time 🫶🏼

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Lisa May's avatar

I love Rye. I read something good about not wanting to spend life in the waiting room (waiting for someone till u do something) and it’s exactly this. I just came away to France alone staying with a French family, cos well why not?!!

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

Ah, being in the waiting room is exactly it! Company is great, but you don’t NEED it to do wonderful things 😊 Hope you had a lovely trip!!

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Lisa May's avatar

Yep so good I’m still here!

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Roxanne C.S.'s avatar

As a mother of 2, I have to say, taking a solo trip once in a while does wonders for my soul. It recharges me with added strength and enthusiasm, so I feel I can take on anything again when I’m back home with my family.

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

I imagine that the need to sometimes recharge alone becomes so much more important after having children! Glad you’re able to have that much-needed time away 🫶🏼🫶🏼

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Amy Putkonen's avatar

That BBBEEEDDD looks so lovely!! I loved this post! I’ve taken lots of trips alone and they are some of my most special times.

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

It was UNREAL. Made coming back to my own bed feel very bleak 😂 Solo memories really do make for some of the best! Maybe because, alone, we’re usually being authentic to ourselves

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Elaine R. Frieman's avatar

Love this 🫶🏻

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

Thank you, Elaine! 💓

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Ella's avatar

Absolutely loved reading this - Dot Cottage looks STUNNING, but I also found it really comforting to hear about how you feel travelling alone. I’ve always wanted to try it, but it can be such a daunting thing to do. This has definitely sparked my desire for a solo trip away!

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

Yay! I’m so glad it’s sparked something 🥹 My advice would be so start as small as you like: day trips that eventually build to an overnight stay, then longer.

I also try to always challenge the voice in my head that says “don’t go into that shop/don’t spark up conversation/don’t explore that area, because it might be scary or weird”. And the more I’ve done that, the less the thoughts of it potentially being weird or scary even enter my mind! People and places are - for the most part - very welcoming!

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Amy Putkonen's avatar

Yeah, I should do more day trips…

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Alanna Duffield's avatar

LOVE a day trip. Especially as overnight can get expensive!

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Mar 4
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Alanna Duffield's avatar

Honestly!! Once you get used to it, sometimes the act of organising someone else feels like such a faff 😂 Or if I’m going on a beautiful trek or something I’m like, this is going to feel better in solitude, rather than chatting all the way

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