I definitely needed this today, although I had no idea before I read it. Literally three paragraphs in and I was in tears - because you articulated everything I'm currently feeling. Whenever someone questions why I didn't get one of the literally hundreds of jobs I've applied for, I hear myself saying that I can't be as good as I think I am, despite the fact I've subbed broadsheet newspapers and written pieces with millions of views. Even today, a recruiter messaged me to tell me they'd given a job they were interested in me for to someone else 'literally as we speak' - it's Sunday lunchtime and I don't believe for a second that it just happened.
I've had to turn down a much-needed weekend in Cambridge with my besties because I can't afford the £25 train fare, and I'm currently desperately trying keep hold of the storage locker I put everything I own in when I had to move back to my mum's to help care for her, because it's a crazy amount of money every month.
The despair, shame, and damage to my confidence, self esteem, and general faith in the world are real and I have no idea if I'll be able to repair them. Never mind how long it will take me to make up for the lost money.
I do have an interview tomorrow, with someone who turned me down for a writing job because I was too qualified and wanted me to apply for a more apt position. So I'm pinning all my hopes on that - because if I don't get it, destitution is literally my next stop. 🤷♀️ I really appreciate your having written this piece, knowing that I'm not alone helps, and being able to rant a little about it here was invaluable. Wish me luck for tomorrow ❤️
Emma, I’m so sorry. This sounds incredibly tough, and I know first-hand how much harder the job search is when coupled with having an ill parent (my dad has incurable bone cancer, so I’ve moved back in with my parents to help). I really hope your next interview goes well! Do feel free to let this comment section know either way. We can either support or celebrate! 🤗
Alanna, I totally feel you. My mum is in a similar position, and that makes the unemployment even harder, as I'm sure you know. Seeing her worrying about me when she should be resting or focusing on staying here for as long as possible increases my stress and guilt a thousandfold.
I do, though, have an update for you - it was, in the end, a very up and down week for interviews, all told. The chat on Monday went well, and the Editor said they'd like me to come in for a trial day, depending on how I felt about the salary, so I was to contact the HR type and get the info. Which I did. The response fluffed and did not mention salary, just that there were more interviews and they'd let me know by Fri. On Thursday, they messaged to tell me that an internal candidate had 'suddenly' applied, so they would be interviewing them to keep everything 'fair'. And that they'd let me know on Monday. So far, I've heard nothing. And this from a company who first expressed interest in my taking the role last October.
Now, for some better news: Also on Thursday, I heard from another company - a better job - who asked me for a chat on Friday, and I have a formal interview with them tomorrow! Admittedly, it's going to be a long process, but I've got a good feeling about this one :D
Thank you so much for your kind words, your support, and your writing. It's helped SO MUCH. And I'll def be keeping you updated.
Well, the saga is finally at an end! I GOT A JOB!!!
Not the better job - that's a whole other story that I will DEF be telling very soon, but the original role, the one that I've been in talks about since last October.
I did a trial shift last week, and they offered me the position yesterday. I am now officially employed and I start on Monday! My mum is unbelievably relieved right now...
Admittedly, the money isn't great but the team seems fun, and at this point, I'm just glad to have made it through. Thank you to everyone who sent positive thoughts, lent their support, and just generally made it all a little easier and a little less stressful. Soo grateful.
Thanks Kristi! Please do keep everything crossed for me - I might not get that job, but I feel I'm getting closer... And all this amazing support and positivity is an enormous help. It really does make things more bearable :D
Very relatable. I started my own business in early 2023 after being laid off from a DEI role at a major tech company. Scary times. Lots of ups and downs. I’m still kind of looking but im also writing a book, volunteering my time with orgs I love, and otherwise building community for other women like me.
I mostly live off of what I earn thru my business but its not enough. I’ve had to sell stocks and take on part time work to fill in the gaps. Last year I worked at an Athleta store. These days I work at a local bookstore.
Not at all what I had planned for my early 50s but everyday I bravely move forward into the uncertainty with hope!
“Bravely move forward” is a beautiful way of putting it, because it does require bravery—both to persevere in the face of uncertainty, but also to hold firm in our belief that we’re talented and will (eventually) have this realised 🤗
Hady, your experience is a tiny bit similar to mine. I last worked in June 2023 and since then have been focusing on writing, have 1 book done, meagre sales trickling in, nowhere near enough to live on, piling up debt, selling stock, finding ways to make money (plasma donation, for example!).
As Alanna said, 'bravely move forward' is a lovely way of putting it. I shall attempt to do the same!
Alanna, first I want to thank you for including my journey in this piece. And for writing this piece, PERIOD. I feel like this is such an underrated life experience, especially nowadays when, as you mentioned, AI is filtering us out before we even make it to the eyeballs of those hiring. Like the others you featured here, being unemployable is life-changing in the worst ways. Thank you for shining a light on this!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me, Kristi! You’re right, it’s becoming more and more overwhelming and unsustainable. Hopefully employment rights will soon evolve with the times, a bit like how we all decided that - actually - free work “dinners” and nap pods weren’t cool, they were a tool to keep you in the office round the clock!
Phyl Terry wrote a book on job searching called “Never Search Alone” and the concepts he talks about there have been paradigm shifting for me. I’m currently looking for a job and it’s BRUTAL. So happy you found work, and I’m hoping I find something, too!
Oooh that sounds great! What kind of concepts does it discuss? I’m sorry you’re going through it currently, it’s zero fun but there WILL be an end to it eventually 🤗
It has been very disheartening to apply to many jobs and not get them. Additionally, it has become so common for companies to ask us to perform tasks during the hiring process! Many companies have asked me to provide full articles, social media posts, videos, meta ads strategies, etc. Being turned down for a job while working for free is so annoying.
When you're unemployed, you doubt not only yourself, but also pretty much all your career choices. It’s terrible. I’m constantly doubting if I should be doing more or learning something completely new.
Yes!! I’m the same, I’ve been made to put so much effort into tasks that never came to anything. But I also wouldn’t be surprised if some of the ideas - or at least the bones of them - were still used down the line 😒
Had this happen multiple times during my (ongoing) 15+ month-long job search. Work I've written was either straight-up plagiarized and posted on their website or sent through the AI wood chipper and spat out at the other end. Two of them didn't even bother to tell me I didn't get the position and I was ghosted after following up with the companies multiple times. I hate it here.
I hate that these assignments have become commonplace nowadays because I have literally no idea if I'm just being farmed for free content and they're not exactly optional.
Thank you for this thorough and thoughtful post, Alanna. I am saddened to read how many of us are ghosted by potential employers, and that many of our jobs are replaced by forms of AI or its influence. I guess I've come to the conclusion that each of us must press on with a firm resolve abs belief that the talents and gifts we bring to the world are valuable, worthy, and necessary. Then, we keep moving forward in some way.
Thank you, Jeannie! Yes, and even having these kinds of conversations helps us realise how far reaching the problem is, and how it’s not just us suffering through it 🤗
I too had one occasion where I never heard back after an hour-long interview and about 3000 unpaid words in a writing test that I declined a paid gig to make the time for. It was for Soho House. I chased them twice and in the end, I just had to assume I didn’t get it. Such disrespect for a person’s time.
Ugh, I honestly think companies like this are a HUGE reason why the job search is so deeply upsetting. The more effort and care you put into a piece of work, the more invested you become. You literally can't help but raise your hopes every time BECAUSE you've invested hours of time in something. If it was just a case of sending a CV and a portfolio link, we wouldn't be so emotionally attached to roles before we've got them.
I wish it could impact corporate policy because happening to everyone doesn’t make it easier to take when people feel hopeless and worthless at not getting jobs for so long. I hope this will be the kernel for change. 🤞🏻
Absolutely! The fact that it’s so tightly connected to our finances also makes it much more than just an issue of confidence. Companies absolutely need to be reined in and held to account with some of their candidate requests and treatment 😞
The way it completely destroys your self confidence is insane. I went from being fairly confidence about my worth and performance to doubting everything when I decided to start looking for a new job last year. And I was on the comfy position of looking while still employed. I can't imagine what you went through and I'm so happy you found something. You're definely super talented so your new company got lucky :)
Thank you, Aurelie! It's incredible how fast it can happen, too. One month, you can think you're great and truly believe in your worth, the next you're like, "Okay, my whole career before this must've just been one huge error?"
So cruel and so true! It's also so embarrassing sometimes when you're looking for a job for an extended period of time. In those gaps, I often just lie to not-so-close friends and tell them I found something so they stop asking. 😅
It’s really hard, isn’t it? But if I’ve learned anything from this it’s that there really isn’t anything to be ashamed of—because a tough job market doesn’t discriminate or reflect a person’s talent or worth!
Wow. This post is so relatable. I'm just getting back into Substack after an unexpected 'break'. Since November, job searching and rejections/ghosting have gotten the better of me, and my creativity and motivation plummeted. I only graduated in July of last year with a degree in Fashion Communication and Promotion, and though everyone is going through these struggles, it's terrifying seeing those with much more experience than me also go through it. I have been seeking full-time employment since before graduating, and I'm so tired. Endless jumping through hoops, hours spent doing tasks for interviews to either not hear back or be told they found someone with more experience. I've been doing unpaid work to ensure I am getting experience and that I am using those skills, but it's leaving me wondering how much more experience I need before someone is willing to take a chance and say yes.
Thank you for writing this, Alanna. You really put a lot of my thoughts and worries out there, and it has lifted a small weight off my shoulders. I hope your new job goes well!
I heard from a group of engineering students about corporations using AI screening tools to filter which applications ever see human eyes, and so they are using AI tools to tweak the resumes to pass the screening. So it’s basically computers vs computers and the people are an afterthought. What are we even doing?
Yes! A friend told me to get my CV professionally edited to include certain niche keywords, but (until then) I’d always proudly written across multiple disciplines. It suddenly felt like I was being made to choose, and therefore leaving out half my skills?
I relate so much! For me the most embarrassing is the questions, when I meet new people and they ask what I do, and I tell them well I’m currently looking.. i feel lots of shame around this. Hopefully this will soon be resolved, I have hopes for a position 🥹
Thank you for sharing. I feel less alone. I wish it was talked about more, I especially like the self compassion advice. I’ll start treating me like my friend today!
Absolutely! The more we talk about it, the more we (and the rest of the world) understands how common it is, but also how awful it can be. I hope you find your dream role soon 🫶🏼
Hello Alanna! I just wanted to come back here to share the good news that I finally got the job, the position I was hoping ! I am so happy it happened. ☺️ reading about this, and your previous note on the topic made me feel much better and less alone. So thanks again
Oh yaaaaaaaaay!!! I’m so happy for you 🥲 Hope you feel like a big weight has been lifted and that you can focus on enjoying and thriving in your new role xxx
This is so real. I left a soul destroying job without anything lined up about two years ago. I naively thought I would be unemployed, at most, for 6 months. Ha. No.
It’s the lack of respect (ghosting after a final round where you maybe spent hours on a project), the embarrassment (friends asking if you’ve found anything yet, you answering “no”), the eyeroll inducing advice (maybe you’re not sounding confident! Have you tried using ChatGPT to improve your resume? You should tailor it to every job!) and the crippling and unproductive self doubt (why am I not getting any job?). Leaving that job was always the right choice, but this grit and resilience to rejection is not something I was aiming to develop in a job search. All that plus the very real concern of paying bills and (in the US, for the most part) having health insurance.
I’m sorry that there are more like me in this space, but I’m comforted by places like Reddit and this comment section because I feel less alone in all this.
I definitely needed this today, although I had no idea before I read it. Literally three paragraphs in and I was in tears - because you articulated everything I'm currently feeling. Whenever someone questions why I didn't get one of the literally hundreds of jobs I've applied for, I hear myself saying that I can't be as good as I think I am, despite the fact I've subbed broadsheet newspapers and written pieces with millions of views. Even today, a recruiter messaged me to tell me they'd given a job they were interested in me for to someone else 'literally as we speak' - it's Sunday lunchtime and I don't believe for a second that it just happened.
I've had to turn down a much-needed weekend in Cambridge with my besties because I can't afford the £25 train fare, and I'm currently desperately trying keep hold of the storage locker I put everything I own in when I had to move back to my mum's to help care for her, because it's a crazy amount of money every month.
The despair, shame, and damage to my confidence, self esteem, and general faith in the world are real and I have no idea if I'll be able to repair them. Never mind how long it will take me to make up for the lost money.
I do have an interview tomorrow, with someone who turned me down for a writing job because I was too qualified and wanted me to apply for a more apt position. So I'm pinning all my hopes on that - because if I don't get it, destitution is literally my next stop. 🤷♀️ I really appreciate your having written this piece, knowing that I'm not alone helps, and being able to rant a little about it here was invaluable. Wish me luck for tomorrow ❤️
Emma, I’m so sorry. This sounds incredibly tough, and I know first-hand how much harder the job search is when coupled with having an ill parent (my dad has incurable bone cancer, so I’ve moved back in with my parents to help). I really hope your next interview goes well! Do feel free to let this comment section know either way. We can either support or celebrate! 🤗
Alanna, I totally feel you. My mum is in a similar position, and that makes the unemployment even harder, as I'm sure you know. Seeing her worrying about me when she should be resting or focusing on staying here for as long as possible increases my stress and guilt a thousandfold.
I do, though, have an update for you - it was, in the end, a very up and down week for interviews, all told. The chat on Monday went well, and the Editor said they'd like me to come in for a trial day, depending on how I felt about the salary, so I was to contact the HR type and get the info. Which I did. The response fluffed and did not mention salary, just that there were more interviews and they'd let me know by Fri. On Thursday, they messaged to tell me that an internal candidate had 'suddenly' applied, so they would be interviewing them to keep everything 'fair'. And that they'd let me know on Monday. So far, I've heard nothing. And this from a company who first expressed interest in my taking the role last October.
Now, for some better news: Also on Thursday, I heard from another company - a better job - who asked me for a chat on Friday, and I have a formal interview with them tomorrow! Admittedly, it's going to be a long process, but I've got a good feeling about this one :D
Thank you so much for your kind words, your support, and your writing. It's helped SO MUCH. And I'll def be keeping you updated.
Well, the saga is finally at an end! I GOT A JOB!!!
Not the better job - that's a whole other story that I will DEF be telling very soon, but the original role, the one that I've been in talks about since last October.
I did a trial shift last week, and they offered me the position yesterday. I am now officially employed and I start on Monday! My mum is unbelievably relieved right now...
Admittedly, the money isn't great but the team seems fun, and at this point, I'm just glad to have made it through. Thank you to everyone who sent positive thoughts, lent their support, and just generally made it all a little easier and a little less stressful. Soo grateful.
Omg huge congrats, Emma!!! So pleased for you xxx
Ouch, Emma I'm so sorry you're going through this as well. I have all my fingers and toes crossed for your next interview!
Thanks Kristi! Please do keep everything crossed for me - I might not get that job, but I feel I'm getting closer... And all this amazing support and positivity is an enormous help. It really does make things more bearable :D
Very relatable. I started my own business in early 2023 after being laid off from a DEI role at a major tech company. Scary times. Lots of ups and downs. I’m still kind of looking but im also writing a book, volunteering my time with orgs I love, and otherwise building community for other women like me.
I mostly live off of what I earn thru my business but its not enough. I’ve had to sell stocks and take on part time work to fill in the gaps. Last year I worked at an Athleta store. These days I work at a local bookstore.
Not at all what I had planned for my early 50s but everyday I bravely move forward into the uncertainty with hope!
“Bravely move forward” is a beautiful way of putting it, because it does require bravery—both to persevere in the face of uncertainty, but also to hold firm in our belief that we’re talented and will (eventually) have this realised 🤗
Hady, your experience is a tiny bit similar to mine. I last worked in June 2023 and since then have been focusing on writing, have 1 book done, meagre sales trickling in, nowhere near enough to live on, piling up debt, selling stock, finding ways to make money (plasma donation, for example!).
As Alanna said, 'bravely move forward' is a lovely way of putting it. I shall attempt to do the same!
Best of luck on your journey. May we all find what we need, share what we know, and discover ourselves a little more along the way!
Alanna, first I want to thank you for including my journey in this piece. And for writing this piece, PERIOD. I feel like this is such an underrated life experience, especially nowadays when, as you mentioned, AI is filtering us out before we even make it to the eyeballs of those hiring. Like the others you featured here, being unemployable is life-changing in the worst ways. Thank you for shining a light on this!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me, Kristi! You’re right, it’s becoming more and more overwhelming and unsustainable. Hopefully employment rights will soon evolve with the times, a bit like how we all decided that - actually - free work “dinners” and nap pods weren’t cool, they were a tool to keep you in the office round the clock!
Can’t say I’ve ever experienced that but my mother worked in Japan for five years. They are the capital of overworked!! So I know it exists!
Phyl Terry wrote a book on job searching called “Never Search Alone” and the concepts he talks about there have been paradigm shifting for me. I’m currently looking for a job and it’s BRUTAL. So happy you found work, and I’m hoping I find something, too!
Oooh that sounds great! What kind of concepts does it discuss? I’m sorry you’re going through it currently, it’s zero fun but there WILL be an end to it eventually 🤗
This will be studied in history, and we have written proof here. Never stop writing!
Thank you, Erica! 🫶🏼
It has been very disheartening to apply to many jobs and not get them. Additionally, it has become so common for companies to ask us to perform tasks during the hiring process! Many companies have asked me to provide full articles, social media posts, videos, meta ads strategies, etc. Being turned down for a job while working for free is so annoying.
When you're unemployed, you doubt not only yourself, but also pretty much all your career choices. It’s terrible. I’m constantly doubting if I should be doing more or learning something completely new.
Yes!! I’m the same, I’ve been made to put so much effort into tasks that never came to anything. But I also wouldn’t be surprised if some of the ideas - or at least the bones of them - were still used down the line 😒
Had this happen multiple times during my (ongoing) 15+ month-long job search. Work I've written was either straight-up plagiarized and posted on their website or sent through the AI wood chipper and spat out at the other end. Two of them didn't even bother to tell me I didn't get the position and I was ghosted after following up with the companies multiple times. I hate it here.
I hate that these assignments have become commonplace nowadays because I have literally no idea if I'm just being farmed for free content and they're not exactly optional.
Thank you for this thorough and thoughtful post, Alanna. I am saddened to read how many of us are ghosted by potential employers, and that many of our jobs are replaced by forms of AI or its influence. I guess I've come to the conclusion that each of us must press on with a firm resolve abs belief that the talents and gifts we bring to the world are valuable, worthy, and necessary. Then, we keep moving forward in some way.
Thank you, Jeannie! Yes, and even having these kinds of conversations helps us realise how far reaching the problem is, and how it’s not just us suffering through it 🤗
I too had one occasion where I never heard back after an hour-long interview and about 3000 unpaid words in a writing test that I declined a paid gig to make the time for. It was for Soho House. I chased them twice and in the end, I just had to assume I didn’t get it. Such disrespect for a person’s time.
Ugh, I honestly think companies like this are a HUGE reason why the job search is so deeply upsetting. The more effort and care you put into a piece of work, the more invested you become. You literally can't help but raise your hopes every time BECAUSE you've invested hours of time in something. If it was just a case of sending a CV and a portfolio link, we wouldn't be so emotionally attached to roles before we've got them.
I hard relate to all of this. It is so disheartening and soul destroying. Thanks for writing. 🫶🏻
Thank you for reading 🤗 It's sad that so many of us relate, but it's also nice to feel less alone in it!
I wish it could impact corporate policy because happening to everyone doesn’t make it easier to take when people feel hopeless and worthless at not getting jobs for so long. I hope this will be the kernel for change. 🤞🏻
Absolutely! The fact that it’s so tightly connected to our finances also makes it much more than just an issue of confidence. Companies absolutely need to be reined in and held to account with some of their candidate requests and treatment 😞
The way it completely destroys your self confidence is insane. I went from being fairly confidence about my worth and performance to doubting everything when I decided to start looking for a new job last year. And I was on the comfy position of looking while still employed. I can't imagine what you went through and I'm so happy you found something. You're definely super talented so your new company got lucky :)
Thank you, Aurelie! It's incredible how fast it can happen, too. One month, you can think you're great and truly believe in your worth, the next you're like, "Okay, my whole career before this must've just been one huge error?"
So cruel and so true! It's also so embarrassing sometimes when you're looking for a job for an extended period of time. In those gaps, I often just lie to not-so-close friends and tell them I found something so they stop asking. 😅
It’s really hard, isn’t it? But if I’ve learned anything from this it’s that there really isn’t anything to be ashamed of—because a tough job market doesn’t discriminate or reflect a person’s talent or worth!
Facts!!
Wow. This post is so relatable. I'm just getting back into Substack after an unexpected 'break'. Since November, job searching and rejections/ghosting have gotten the better of me, and my creativity and motivation plummeted. I only graduated in July of last year with a degree in Fashion Communication and Promotion, and though everyone is going through these struggles, it's terrifying seeing those with much more experience than me also go through it. I have been seeking full-time employment since before graduating, and I'm so tired. Endless jumping through hoops, hours spent doing tasks for interviews to either not hear back or be told they found someone with more experience. I've been doing unpaid work to ensure I am getting experience and that I am using those skills, but it's leaving me wondering how much more experience I need before someone is willing to take a chance and say yes.
Thank you for writing this, Alanna. You really put a lot of my thoughts and worries out there, and it has lifted a small weight off my shoulders. I hope your new job goes well!
Thank you, Abigail! I’m so glad the piece helped you lift some of that weight. It’s such an exhausting experience but you’re definitely not alone 🥹🤗
I heard from a group of engineering students about corporations using AI screening tools to filter which applications ever see human eyes, and so they are using AI tools to tweak the resumes to pass the screening. So it’s basically computers vs computers and the people are an afterthought. What are we even doing?
Yes! A friend told me to get my CV professionally edited to include certain niche keywords, but (until then) I’d always proudly written across multiple disciplines. It suddenly felt like I was being made to choose, and therefore leaving out half my skills?
I relate so much! For me the most embarrassing is the questions, when I meet new people and they ask what I do, and I tell them well I’m currently looking.. i feel lots of shame around this. Hopefully this will soon be resolved, I have hopes for a position 🥹
Thank you for sharing. I feel less alone. I wish it was talked about more, I especially like the self compassion advice. I’ll start treating me like my friend today!
Absolutely! The more we talk about it, the more we (and the rest of the world) understands how common it is, but also how awful it can be. I hope you find your dream role soon 🫶🏼
Hello Alanna! I just wanted to come back here to share the good news that I finally got the job, the position I was hoping ! I am so happy it happened. ☺️ reading about this, and your previous note on the topic made me feel much better and less alone. So thanks again
Oh yaaaaaaaaay!!! I’m so happy for you 🥲 Hope you feel like a big weight has been lifted and that you can focus on enjoying and thriving in your new role xxx
This is so real. I left a soul destroying job without anything lined up about two years ago. I naively thought I would be unemployed, at most, for 6 months. Ha. No.
It’s the lack of respect (ghosting after a final round where you maybe spent hours on a project), the embarrassment (friends asking if you’ve found anything yet, you answering “no”), the eyeroll inducing advice (maybe you’re not sounding confident! Have you tried using ChatGPT to improve your resume? You should tailor it to every job!) and the crippling and unproductive self doubt (why am I not getting any job?). Leaving that job was always the right choice, but this grit and resilience to rejection is not something I was aiming to develop in a job search. All that plus the very real concern of paying bills and (in the US, for the most part) having health insurance.
I’m sorry that there are more like me in this space, but I’m comforted by places like Reddit and this comment section because I feel less alone in all this.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this.
I’m glad you’ve been able to find some comfort here! It’s such a tough experience to go through 😞
Oh my gosh. The shame. It's so real. Thank you.
Thank you 🤗